Epigrammaticon

A book by Stephen Evans

A configuration of geometric shapes with the title and author

Epigrammaticon is a collection of epigrams, aphorisms, and anecdotes about both life and the writing life from playwright and author Stephen Evans. The style ranges from the absurd to the oblique. But the hope is always to entertain, and possibly enlighten.

Topics include:

Opening Line (Or What my  Ex-Wife Said), The Potato Chip Diet, On Artificial Intelligence, NTCC, Three Oversimplifications, Soup to Nuts, Thinking Ahead, My Sense of Humor, The Big Picture, I Have Decided to Learn Italian, Enlightenment, To Be Great is to be Misunderstood, The Compassionate Vegetarian, What I Think About While I Drink Coffee, The Lake Isle of Innisfree  (70th Birthday Version), I Have the Same I.Q.  as Einstein, Divine, Cut Flowers, I Dreamed Last Night that I was Dating Jennifer Aniston, Consciousness, Don’t I Know It, C’est Moi, The Problem Probably, Come Again, Quantum Credo, Dancing Bears, Planning Ahead, Head Banging, Geologically Speaking, On the Other Hand, Directions, With a Nod to Anselm, Smart Person’s Disease, Declaration of Independence: The Twitter Version, Ma Heid’s Mince., Conclusively, When Life Hands  You Lemons, Openings Available, The Silence  is Deafening, Speak Loudly, A True  Renaissance Man, Reflections on Reflection, The Difference between Archimedes and Me, Houston, We Have  a Problem., What Goes Around, Always Room, Time to Buy, The Source, I Am Perplexed, Pulitzer Prize in Fiction, Note to Self, A Day of Reflections, Chronic, I Don’t Get It, Telling Time, As I Get Older, The Nine-Fold Path, And Suppose, I’m Afraid of Nothing, Life Lessons, Polygony, Truth, Truth Again, Wisdom, The Benefit of Age, Two Questions, I Am Not Agnostic, There are No Coincidences, Worry is a  Four-Letter Word, Make Compassion Your Way of Life and Kindness Your Way of Living, If You’re not Confused, The Perils of Sunsets, Choices, Ramifications, Be Your Own Contest, When I Say People are Drawn to Me, There It Is, Of Course, Far Out, Rule of Thumb, Confidence, Faith, Living, Dating Life, Toast, Youth, Strategy, Dancing Bear, Signs Point to Yes, Commentary, Math Problem, Merits, Young Man, Memory is the Mother, Could Be, I Am, Obviously, Private Language, Typlish, I’m Writing a Limerick about William Faulkner, What’s in a Suffix?, I’m Not Really  an Author, I Write Because, My Heroes, Life Goals, On Balance, Comic NeoPost-Modernism, The Definition  of a Romance, The Love Song of  G. Stephen Evans, On Whose Job it is to Keep my Amazon Ranking Under Seven Figures?, Why does Eleanor Rigby pick up the rice in a church where a wedding has been?, You Don’t Find Your Voice, It Finds You, You Would Think, Apparently the  Second Novel, An Author Can’t Be Fired, I Always Wanted  to Write…, You Never Know, Who and What, Punctuation Matters, Private Language, My Writing Process, Why Aren’t There Any Young Wives’ Tales?, The Miracle Years, The Review I’ll Never Write, Plavel, History is an Accumulation of Whispers, Confessions of a Sometime Writer, Calculus for English Majors, Success, Nightly News, 129,864,880, Great Thoughts, I am the Anti-Flaubert, A Font of Comedy, Amimals, Hidden Meaning, Shakespeare: A Little Known Fact, O Henrik, A Dante Joke

ISBN: 978-1-953725-41-7

Available: September 29, 2024

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Excerpt:

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The Lake Isle of Innisfree (70th Birthday Version)

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree.

Give me a minute…this used to be easier.

I Have the Same I.Q. as Einstein

Of course he’s dead.

Divine

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Then he throws you out of it.

Cut Flowers

I never did understand giving cut flowers on Valentine’s Day: “As a sign of my eternal love, let me give you something that will fade and wither in a few days’ time.”

I recommend planting a tree in her yard. Now that’s a sign.

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